Emotional Intelligence: EI-EI-Oh!

When I am working with new employees, I usually ask them to do some form of personality or behavioral assessment.  These assessments help us figure out what type of work they most enjoy (so we can match them up to the right job), where their strengths and weaknesses lie (so we can help them create a development plan), and what their current “emotional intelligence” - EI -  score is.  We measure emotional intelligence to determine a person’s ability to handle himself and interact with others.  A high score indicates
that you are more confident and comfortable in your own skin – you know what you believe and value, and that comes through in your relationships, work or personal.  A lower score can indicate that you are unsure or insecure about your own beliefs.  This can sometimes come through in behavior that is deemed immature or overly dramatic.  The good news is, out of all of the assessments and surveys we do, emotional intelligence is the one score that individuals can improve!

Here are a few ways you can improve your emotional intelligence:

Take a test!  In order to improve, you need to know where you stand.  I found this EI test online: http://www.maetrix.com.au/meit/eitest.html.  It is free and quick with only about 40 questions (there were others I found that had almost 400 questions).  Once you know your scores, you can focus on the things you need to improve.  For me, my lowest score was self-management, so I need to work on keeping my emotions from having too much influence over my decisions and actions.

Ask for feedback. Even if you have an open-door policy for feedback, it is good to be proactive and seek out some input from your manager or peers – or employees, if you have them.  Depending on the results of your EI test, you may need to work on developing some new skills or honing some old ones.  Getting feedback from others can help you gauge your progress as you further develop those skills.

Say what you mean.  I recently saw an article featuring a cartoon by artist, Yao Xiao.  Many people, especially women, use “I’m sorry” as a comfort phrase… they say it when they mean “excuse me” or “thank you” (“Stop Saying Sorry,” 2016).  I am working on taking “I’m sorry” out of my vocabulary unless I truly mean it as an apology.  If you are direct with your written and verbal communication, you will not only change others’ perception of you, but you will be more confident, too.